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Showing posts from May, 2011

Movie Review: How To Train Your Dragon

I knew that this movie got good reviews before I watched it. Therefore, I was wary, but also expecting it to be at least average. Other than its reputation, I only knew that it had to do with..taming dragons? Or something like that.

As it turns out, How To Train Your Dragon was not at all disappointing. It was actually pretty cute (I hate using that word to describe films, but oh well), funny, and likable. And I loved the dragon. He's adorable! Awwwwww. And he looks like an alien.

I find it funny how inconsistent some these animated movies are, though, at least in certain aspects. Everyone in this is a Viking. They speak with thick Scottish accents that go along so well with their healthy, braided beards. That is, everyone except...all the kids and teens. Could they not find actors who can put on a good accent? Or is it because this is a movie targeted at kids, and kids might understand an American accent better? Well it's not a big deal, but still...

It's a good, well-to…

Movie Review: The Woods

"You see, Joe? It's absolutely beautiful here!"
Yes, but did you know that the woods are...evil? No? Well, they are!

I like the premise of The Woods. It's 1965, and a teenaged girl, Heather (Agnes Bruckner), is sent to an all-girls boarding school because her mother can't stand having her around. That, and she set the house on fire. Although she actually seems like a decent girl, and I like the actress who plays her. But poor Heather starts hearing voices, having bad dreams, and girls start disappearing. And have I mentioned that the woods are evil? Oh yeah, and the teachers are all in on it, and they suck at hiding it.

Heather makes a friend in a weird girl who can sing, and an enemy in the school biotch. This is something that I don't like about movies. Why are the school bitches always snotty blonde girls? It's terribly cliche! Another problem I had was that the girl, Samantha (Rachel Nichols, from P2) doesn't sound like a girl from 1965. She'…

Movie Review: Careful

What an odd, incestuous movie! It plays like a silent film, only with color and sound. The actors are made up heavily with rouge, the sets are so obviously fake, and Freudian fun is kicked around. It's an interesting plot with an interesting set that is (intentionally) reminiscent of black and white and silent movies. A young man goes mad after he starts lusting after his mother, and his fiance has the hots for her old-geezer father. I know, isn't this titillating?

But it's not meant to be taken too seriously, at least not that I know of. It's hard to place the film in one genre. Comedy? Parody? Melodrama? All three?

It's hard to rate or review a movie like this because it is so strange, unique, and not the sort of movie that everyone will like or want to like.

I mean some folks might not want to see characters who lust after their parents. I have no idea who these people are, but they're out there. *Sigh* Even I'm not sure how much I liked or didn't l…

Sarah Palin is Running For President...Lol.

Oh, this is going to be good! This is like free entertainment. Wait, it is free entertainment + the occasional headache and hammer-induced coma. Because sometimes you want to beat your own head as you see what the people in your country are really like. During political season, you find out how many nuts live near you. After all, anyone who supports a joke like Palin is either brainwashed or insane.

Along with running for president, she also has her own movie coming out in June! Like...yeah! It's going to be epic, apparently. I won't see it, but whatever.

I will now sit back and watch with my hammer at my side.

Stupid Radio Contest

It's common for radio stations to have contests. They usually give away something interesting, and if you're lucky and constantly listen to the radio, you may win. Whoopee! I don't do radio contests, but I am guilty of radio-surfing, so I hear not only all the different styles of music, but all the shite that's going on with each station.

This is one of my favorite contests (and the only memorable one, if I'm being honest). I'll tell you in my own words what it is:

Hey, lucky person (female), would you like new boobs? Well guess what? You can win a $6000 breast enhancement! Yay!

At this point you may be thinking, what's the big deal? I'm sure there are a ton of ladies who want bigger breasties. Don't get your knickers in a twist over it, you prude.

But that's not the point. I have a few arguments against this, actually.

1. They hijacked an Avril Lavigne song, What the Hell, and changed the words to "All my life I've been stuck with th…

TV Review: South Riding

How disappointing! It seems like more and more Masterpiece programs on PBS aren't up to par. I didn't have high expectations for South Riding, which ended its three-part run last Sunday over here, but I would love to have been proven wrong.

But the story lacked a real compelling plot, and the characters were not the most likable people. That, and there were a few stories going on at once and it turned into a bit of a jumble. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to care about this character, or that character, and I wasn't sure I cared if I should care. Get it? It didn't have much to offer.

Anna Maxwell Martin plays our heroine, a young-ish lady who comes to town to run a local girls school a few years before WWII. She sets out to change things for the better, as they always do in these stories, and of course she's right. The two love interests she sort of acquires aren't exactly titillating. The one guy, who I prefer, loves her and she's oblivious. The oth…

My Dream Man is a Sleaze!

Sadness. For so long, Arnold Schwicantspellhisname has been my dream man. I mean look at this hunk of Austrian manliness. Sure, he looks more ape than man, but that matters not to me! And sure, he's 63, but what is age? And so what if he's married with kids? I have always thought that he was a respectable, genuine man-

Okay, I just barfed a little in my mouth. When you swallow so many lies, they sometimes come up when you're speaking. It can get nasty.

Like Arnold. Nasty, nasty. As unsurprising as the revelation that he has a lovechild is, I was still a little...surprised. He's always been sleazy, and he's always had an agenda. He married Maria Shriver because he wanted to be part of a higher-up political family, and he wanted to be in politics. Then he made it seem as if he was safe for Democrats to vote for, getting his wife to back him, and in turn getting votes. Now that he's out of office, he doesn't need her anymore, does he? So the scandal hurts less…

Movie Review: Rosemary's Baby

It took me a long time to get to this, but I finally watched it. This isn't the first movie I've seen featuring satanists and creepy conspiring old people. I gotta say, I liked it, although this isn't one that I'll watch often, or maybe ever again. It also ran a little long at over two hours.

The painful part about watching this was how obvious the characters are in their intentions. In fact it could be downright infuriating. As a viewer, I know that the neighbors are rather evil and that they put a great deal of time and effort into controlling Rosemary. It's also a glaring fact that there is a big plot that has yet to be revealed, but according to the movie description I was supposed to "wonder" if it was real or just in Rosemary's imagination. Hmm.

I also know that I could just murder her husband, who is obviously a part of the plot (what a great guy!). And Rosemary comes off as both naive and aware, letting them tell her what to do, which doctor …

Random Movie Review- The Squid and The Whale

This is one of those movies that I was sure was going to be as dull as fried hair and I'd be anxiously waiting for it to be over. Well, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't bad, period, but it does possess that unfortunate quality that so many movies have: I never want to watch it again.

Jesse Eisenberg's character is so unlikable and assy that I was hoping he'd get hit by a truck at some point. He and his little brother each side with a different parent after their mother decides to end the marriage, and sadly Jesse's character (yes, I forgot his name) prefers his even assier father to his mom and even molds himself after the bastard. While his mother (Laura Linney) is certainly no saint (hello countless number of affairs!) it's surprisingly easy to sympathize with her and not fault her for being such a ho. Which is odd, because I'm usually not siding with the cheater, but her hubby seems like an impossible man to be with.

I spent most of the movie hating Je…

Quick Book Reviews -Wake Series By Lisa McMann

Wake is the first in the series, and probably the best. I love the premise. It's about a teenaged girl who has the terrible gift/curse of getting sucked into other people's dreams, whether she wants to or not. The poor girl is forced to see crap that she doesn't care to see, and it makes being around people kind of...difficult.

The writing is sparse and makes for a fast read. It's not exactly great literature, and the writing, although interesting and fairly good, isn't complicated. So, this was an easy, fun read. My grade- A

Next is Fade, the sequel. This one gets into some scandal. One of the teachers at Janie's school is a sex predator, but which one? Janie has the fun job of finding out! Yeah, her boyfriend doesn't like that. It is tense, but it's not really surprising. The climax could have been written better, but for the most part it was good. It's not a meaty story, though. Well, none of them are, actually.  My grade- B+

The third and last i…

Sad Fact

On my profile on Rotten Tomatoes, they ask who your celebrity crush is. It's optional, of course. I would love to answer it. It sounds simple, too.

But I couldn't think of one celebrity. That is so sad. The only people I can think of are older dudes with graying hair, and those aren't even crushes. They're "You're one of my favorite actors" or "I wish you were my dad". And really, it would be rather creepy to be crushing on Jeremy Irons or Edward Petherbridge.

I mean what are the options? There are the go-to guys, like Brad Pitt and George Clooney. Then there are the popular guys of the moment, such as Robert Pattinson andZac Efron, meh. And Bradley Cooper suddenly became popular awhile back. I remember him from Alias. Never really liked him, and I always thought he resembled a turtle.

*Sigh* Fine, fine, I'll go with Benedict Cumberbatch, but only because he makes an awesome Sherlock. Speaking of which, when are we Americans getting new e…

I Like You As An Actor. As A Person? Not So Much.

I always think it's rather nice when you can put aside personal prejudices when watching movies or TV, or even listening to music. It's hard to do sometimes, especially if there's just something about the person that personally offends you, whether for sane or inexplicable reasons. We've all been there, right? It's not hard for me, usually.  So here are a few that I like in their chosen art. But as people...maybe not so much. Like Tom Cruise over here. Actually, I only vaguely liked him in one or two movies. I don't think he's a great actor. But...

This is a tad misleading, because I don't actually dislike her as a person, there's just something about her that irks me. Maybe it's the squintiness...

TV Review -You're Beautiful

I love foreign television. I've gotten a thing for k-dramas recently. Okay, so I've only seen two, but I'm only willing to fork out so much cash.

One that I fell in love with a couple of months ago is You're Beautiful, alternately known as He's Beautiful and I think one other title. I thought the premise was promising: A girl dresses up as her twin brother and pretends to be him so he doesn't lose his spot in Korea's most popular boy-band. Then the three band members start falling for him/her. Of course it's obvious to us she's a girl, and she doesn't fool everyone for long. But it does make for an interesting love quadrangle. The fact that she was about to officially become a nun only makes it better.

My only real problem is the sheer stupidity of our heroine. It is quite astounding at times. She's lacking common sense most of the time, as well as a spine. She improves a little bit, but really she's a pushover. I prefer more kick-ass p…

Movie Review -Water For Elephants

Yes, I did see it. I wasn't planning to, but when it came down to it, it was either this or some kiddie movies. Plus, I figured, I read the book, so I might as well watch the movie. It actually turned out to be a good pick because, and I did not know this, my dad has something against animated movies.

So, back to the movie. I think we all know that it didn't get the greatest reviews. When it comes to critics, and even audience reviews, I take them into consideration, but I rely on my own opinion. After all, just because Roger Ebert says it's good, that doesn't make it good, and just because that dude over there didn't like it, doesn't mean it's bad.

So what is it to me?

Let's start with the book. If you haven't read the book, you'll probably like this more than someone who has, like me. Because if you've read the book, you'll see all the places that they got it wrong. This movie could have been a lot better for more than one reason. For…

Movie Review -Easy A

I was hoping this one would turn out good. I was expecting it to make me laugh and to like Emma Stone, since that's basically what I was promised. But occasionally these critically acclaimed comedies are not as good as the critics or even the general audience say. Not for me, that is. After all, it's just someone's opinion. Knocked Up didn't work for me as a whole. Neither did Superbad, although it definitely had some winning, laugh-out-loud moments. Personally, I liked Pineapple Express way more.
So, I was looking forward to watching this, but wary.
Fortunatley, it didn't disappoint. Actually, it was funny, and Emma Stone is likable and perfectly cast, and the movie worked for me. Stanley Tucci, another favorite actor of mine, and Patricia Clarkson play some of the coolest parents I have ever seen. The ending when Olive is doing her webcam in front of the whole school is a bit contrived and movie-landish, but so is a group of creepy high schoolers listening to her …

Random Review of the Day -Lost In Austen

It's an odd thing when you don't want Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy to get together. But alas, in this silly, skewered adaptation, that's what happens. They simply don't belong together. Of course things have to be different in this TV series. After all, when a die-hard fan of Pride and Prejudice gets trapped in the world of her favorite book (after the naughty, scheming Elizabeth locks her in there and stays in the modern world), you can't not change things.

As it is, everything changes. Elizabeth and Darcy fail to meet, poor Jane suffers even more, Wickham is actually likable and not as big of a douche as we thought, Mr. Collins is creepier than he's ever been, and all the events that happened before don't happen here.

As a plot, this is great. As a could have been a lot better. The scenery was beautiful, the plot good, but the execution was lacking. I had trouble feeling any connection to the characters, or even getting to kn…