Skip to main content

My Dream Man is a Sleaze!

The Sperminator
Sadness. For so long, Arnold Schwicantspellhisname has been my dream man. I mean look at this hunk of Austrian manliness. Sure, he looks more ape than man, but that matters not to me! And sure, he's 63, but what is age? And so what if he's married with kids? I have always thought that he was a respectable, genuine man-

Okay, I just barfed a little in my mouth. When you swallow so many lies, they sometimes come up when you're speaking. It can get nasty.

Like Arnold. Nasty, nasty. As unsurprising as the revelation that he has a lovechild is, I was still a little...surprised. He's always been sleazy, and he's always had an agenda. He married Maria Shriver because he wanted to be part of a higher-up political family, and he wanted to be in politics. Then he made it seem as if he was safe for Democrats to vote for, getting his wife to back him, and in turn getting votes. Now that he's out of office, he doesn't need her anymore, does he? So the scandal hurts less than it would have a few years ago. Of course I'm sure that he was forced into coming out with it. Better to head these icky scandals off before the tabloids get to them and the mistress is interviewed.

Oh, Arnold. I knew you weren't true, but I will never look at the Terminator the same way again! My dreams have been crushed!


I hope Maria kicks him in the balls.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Movie Review: Serial Mom

*may be spoilers* I feel as if I should have seen this before, but it somehow managed to escape my notice. But hey, I found it! Great premise, too: Kathleen Turner as a picture-perfect wife and mother, living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. She's also insane and likes to kill people over the smallest matters. She has a talent for murder, but not, sadly, for covering her tracks. The thought of wearing gloves or wiping fingerprints doesn't even cross her mind. The first half of this is the strongest. After she gets arrested, it loses some of its humor and charm, though it doesn't completely fall flat. Good ending, as well. Ricki Lake plays her daughter, Misty. It's easy to forget about her acting days, especially when you haven't seen her in anything...like me. I liked her in this, and may I say that it was refreshing to have a chubby young actress instead of a typical, thin, dime-a-dozen actress? Overall, not a bad comedy, but not a masterpiece.

Inspector Lewis: Wild Justice

You know, I was excited last night. Why? Because, after weeks of no Inspector Lewis, they were finally airing two new episodes back to back! Yay! PBS has been a bit backed up, what with all of their pledge programming and favorites. There are four new episodes in total, and two, I believe, were supposed to air in September. Only one did. Naturally, I was looking forward to the 9-midnight Lewis-athon. And you know what ticked me off? They didn't play two new episodes back to back. They repeated the first one and then played a new one. So I had to wait until 10:30 to get my fix. Because of course everyone wants to re-watch the first one, right? Wrong! Mamma not happy! But we did get one new episode, so I'll be content with that. They should be playing the other two next week, since a new series is supposed to start soon. This one is called "Wild Justice". Lewis and Hathaway are investigating the death of a female Bishop. She flew across the pond from the USA for

Becoming a Netflix Addict

It took me long enough, but I recently decided to take advantage of my brother's Netflix subscription by streaming it online. That just shows you how far and wide my procrastination goes. Because it's just too difficult to sign in, I mean Jesus. Friends Naturally, I am now watching everything, and they recently put all ten seasons of Friends on there. Goodbye productivity! I'm watching that whole series from start to finish, and no one can stop me! The fact that I watched every episode when it was on (oh, childhood) doesn't matter. Of course I'm also taking this opportunity to watch other shows that I never got to (or never heard of). The Tudors is a good example. It was on my radar for awhile when it was on, but then it dropped off. Now I've zipped through the first season and into the second. My only complaint so far is that the divorce storyline is dragging on. Just do it already! I'm excited about the cast, though. So many familiar faces (Jeremy N