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The Random Sheet


Actor Whose Appeal I Don’t Understand – Gerard Butler. Am I missing something?
The Last Book I Truly Hated – My Sweet Audrina by V.C. Andrews. I want to sacrificially murder this book. I want to stab it with a fork, set it on fire, squirt denture cream all over it, let my dog have a good wee on it, beat it with a shovel, cut it in half with a machete, and force it to watch every episode of Walker Texas Ranger in a row. Then I want to give it rabies. That’s how much I hate this book.
Last TV Program I Couldn’t Finish – Any Human Heart. I’m pretty certain people liked it, but after twenty minutes in I stopped watching. The characters were already unlikable and the story was average.
Last Book I Couldn’t Finish – Winter’s Tale by Mark Helprin. What is wrong with me? This is a classic; a fat, snowy classic that is supposed to seduce me with tiresome descriptions of snow and a white horse. But I was so bored with the too-slowly progressing story and the not-so captivating characters that I had to stop reading it. My mom informed me that there is a critic she read about who rereads it every year. Every. Year. I think he’s lying.
2nd to Last Book I Couldn’t Finish – Beyond the Masque by Kae D. Jacobs. A "sequel" to The Phantom of the Opera. It somehow manages to make Erik a whiny, dull, pathetic, uninteresting hero who I wish death upon. Isn’t he supposed to be a mad stalking serial killer? When did he become so boring? And why is every chapter repetitive? Seriously, why does the same thing happen in every chapter? And how does even an attempted rape scene manage to make me sleepy from how uninteresting it is? HOW??!! Have I mentioned that it’s over 600 pages? Yes, I couldn’t finish it. But I could use it as a doorstop…
Random Actor I’m Crushing On – David Crow. Don’t ask me why…………okay, I’ll tell you. It was an episode of Midsomer Murder that he was in…when he wielded that axe like a psychotic madman, I knew he was the man for me! He doesn’t have much neck though, does he?


Song I’m Listening To Right Now – I’m Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You by Black Kids.  

Last Show I Watched – Ellen, season 4.
Last Book I ReadA Candidate For Murder by Joan Lowery Nixon. There’s something I love about paperback mysteries from the 80s and 90s. They’re so short, simple and harmless. An easy read. The heroine is a bit daft, though. Psh.

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