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Showing posts from September, 2011

Quick Movie Review: Dark Water

OMG, this is so scary!

Or not. It does have its creepy moments, but it isn't all that scary. I still say, watch "Insidious" if you want that. Or "Halloween".

In case you didn't know, this is about a woman, recently separated from her a-hole husband, who goes to live in a crappy apartment with her young daughter and starts getting haunted by...water.

There are three things that I genuinely like about this movie: Jennifer Connelly, the little cutie pie who plays her daughter, and the ending, and I mean that in a good way. It's not an ending everyone will like, but it worked for me.

While it isn't big on terror (unless you like being terrorized by water...dark water), it is atmospheric. It's almost always raining, the sky is rarely clear of clouds and fog, and the apartment building they live in is grimy and falling apart. It's a real downer. The whole movie. And there were some instances that were supposed to be scary but just came out ridi…

Movie Review: Dirty Pretty Things

An at times disturbing, touching, and clever film about immigrants in England. More to the point, it's about how immigrants (both legal and illegal) are taken advantage of and abused. Kick 'em while they're down, you know?

Senay and Okwe both work at a fancy hotel, two of many out-of-country workers. I'm assuming they like to hire immigrants not only because they can pay them less, but so they can blackmail them into doing what they want, otherwise they face deportation or prison, or both. Okwe is there illegally, therefore he doesn't have a passport and if he gets caught, well...Senay, a girl from Turkey, is there legally, although I was never completely sure what her circumstances were. She has a little apartment behind a store, and she lets Okwe sleep on her couch since he has nowhere else to go. She isn't allowed to have a job, which she does because she needs money, and she isn't allowed to harbor an illegal immigrant, which she is. She could go to pri…

Quick Movie Review: Inception

Finally, I saw the much raved "Inception". By now everyone has seen it, and after getting a few, "You haven't seen Inception? What's wrong with you?", mamma mia came across it at the library, and we both sat down and watched it.

I won't bother with what it's about, since (a) you've probably already seen it, and (b) I have no idea what it is about.

Okay, I kind of do, but I'm too lazy to type it out.

First of all, good casting. My favorite out of everyone is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and I hope I can see him in the upcoming "50/50". So no complaints about any of the actors.

I did get annoyed with Leo's character at times. I know he went through a traumatic experience and all, but I wanted him to just push his issues aside for five minutes and get the job done without making his problem everyone else's problem. And, as expected, the story could at times be confusing, as intended by the filmmakers, but I managed to understand what…

TV Review: Rising Damp

I should have gotten this one out a few weeks ago, since it's been that long since I finished it. This is a Britcom classic that I hadn't heard about until my mom picked it up in the library, all four seasons and a movie.

I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. Everything is hit and miss, and this one turned out to be a hit.

It's about a cranky, racist, bigoted landlord (Leonard Rossiter) and his various tenants, an African man who is the son of a chief, Phillip (Don Warrington), his roomie, Alan (Richard Beckinsale), and a supposedly ladylike woman whom the landlord has his pervy eye on, Miss Jones (Frances de la Tour). And his cat.

Every season is good, although the first two were better because Alan was in both. Sadly, the actor who played Alan, Richard Beckinsale (Kate Beckinsale's dad), died in 1979 from a heart attack at age thirty-one. It was a bit sad after that, but still funny.

The movie, however, is a total disappointment. I was surprised at that. It won aw…

Movie Review: Contagion

Germaphobes beware!

I like disaster movies. They tend to be tense and keep your eyes glued to the screen. "Contagion" sounded promising, and it looked promising based on the trailer. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed by the end, however. It was a bit of an anticlimax for me.

Great cast, though. This movie is riddled with famailiar actors: Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne, Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Marion Cotillard, Brian Cranston, Jude Law, Jennifer Ehle. Jennifer Ehle, Matt Damon, and Kate Winslet were my three personal favorites.

We start off with Gwyneth Paltrow coughing at the airport. Then she dies. Now, if you don't like Gwyneth Paltrow, you might enjoy this part. You also might enjoy when they saw her brain open. I'm just saying. Personally, I like her. Not a big fan, but not a...non-fan either. If that makes sense. Although I can see why she gets on people's bad sides. Buddha knows there are actors who I can't stand!

Matt Damon is…

Movie Review: Big Momma's House 2

You know, before I rewatched the first two, I thought the quality would decrease down the line. The third one is without a doubt the worst, and I thought this one would be in the middle. It is, I guess, but it's actually just about as good as the original. It's funny and silly and entertaining. Good cast, too. Aside from Martin Lawrence, we have Kat Dennings and Emily Procter, and I'm fairly sure that Chloe Moretz is the cute little girl.

Basic plot: Malcolm and his wife, Sherry, are having a baby. He's now doing desk work instead of field work, but he misses it, so he (against everyone's permission) dresses up as Big Momma to infiltrate a family. He bonds with the kiddies along the way and tries to fix the parental problems, as they always do, while hiding his real identity and trying to catch the bad guys.

My grade: B

Movie Review: The Chronicles of Narnia -The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I don't know about you, but I grew up watching a little series of movies called "The Chronicles of Narnia". Not this big, expensive franchise, but the other one. Plus, the animated version of "The Lion, The Witch, and The Warddrobe". After all these years, I still prefer those versions with their cheap special effects and buck-toothed heroine. They possess something that this one lacks" charm.

Having said that, these aren't bad adaptations. Okay, this one kind of sucks, but as a whole they aren't bad, and the first two were pretty good.

I wasn't impressed with "Dawn Treader". First of all, it's fairly boring. I also felt that there is a lack of focus on the plot, and it could be confusing at times. I admit, though, that despite having seen the original several times, I forgot parts of the story. My mom reminded me of a few things, thankfully, otherwise I would have been confused. To be fair, this isn't the easiest story to tel…

Quick Movie Review: Big Momma's House

Since I reviewed the third installment in this drag series, I thought I'd go back and rewatch the first one. Seeing that monstrosity that is 'Like Father Like Son' made me desperate to watch the original, superior one. It was dreadful.

This one isn't perfect. I personally wished that Terrence Howard had been featured more. You know, more bad guy action and suspense, less Martin Lawrence wooing Nia Long. It's pretty funny, for the most part, and it has a decent cast.

My grade: B

Movie Review: Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

I've never had much interest in "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo". It seems as if everyone has read the books (I haven't), seen the movies (hey, I've seen one now), and are anticipating the American adaptation this winter (I'm not). But it hasn't really hit my curiosity nerve. Still, my mom is a fan of the books, and she's been wanting to watch the movies for awhile now, and I finally got my hands on this at the library. I had to mug someone to get it, because, you know, it's quite popular.

I made my mom watch it by herself, though. I wasn't certain that I was going to watch it at all, since, like I said, I don't care about this series a whole lot. But I figured I should, otherwise I'd never watch it, and I felt that I had to. It is supposed to be great, after all.

Luckily, I did watch it by myself. I stayed up until 2 am watching it. I'm glad I watched it alone, too, because it is not comfortable watching rape/sex/abuse scenes wit…

Movie Review: Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son

Nowhere near as good as the original Big Momma's House. Now even as mediocre as the first sequel. This one is just bad.

First of all, it needed more action. There is a small plot in this movie -Trent witnesses a murder and Malcolm makes him dress up as a girl and goes to live in an all-girl's school, blah, blah- and there are a few bad guys who never manage to be intimidating. But they should have used the 35-year-old American Draco Malfoy more. At least he would have been something mildly entertaining.

I want to say this movie was funny, but it didn't provide many laughs. Ignoring the plot more often than not, we are instead treated (more like tortured) to various music/dance sequences and a bland romance between Trent and a nice but unimpressive girl named Hayley. Rather than being riddled with bullets and action scenes it's riddled with cliches and stupidity. Most of the scenes were perfectly disposable, seeing as they were pointless and did nothing to further the s…

TV Review: Inspector Lewis - Old, Unhappy, Far Off Things

When I heard that we had four new episodes of Inspector Lewis coming, I was like yaaaaaaaaay! This is one of my favorite mysteries, and I didn't think we were going to get any this year.

In the first episode of the new season, a woman is killed at a women's college, bringing Lewis back to a place he had been ten years prior when a fifteen year old girl was attacked. He thinks the crimes might be related, and that suspicion is only furthered when someone else is killed.

I don't want to spoil anything that happens, so I won't say much more. My only real gripe is that the ending was silly, not to mention reminiscent of a past episode. That part didn't do anything for me.

My grade: B

This Is Not A Book Review: A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness

Like I said, this isn't a book review, because I got to page 193 and then said, "Eff you, A Discovery of Witches!" and put it down somewhere where it wouldn't taunt me with its ripe blandness. I don't think it's entirely fair to grade a book that I didn't even manage to get half way through, so I won't.

I was so amazingly not gripped by what should have been a gripping book, that it kept falling out of my non-gripping hands. And it's a fat book (almost 600 pages of insomnia-curing blandness).

It was just so dull! This has vampires, witches, and demons in it. Why does it suck? I mean almost every chapter is the same, repetitive hunk of paragraphs. The heroine goes to the library, she gets stared at by various creatures, she jogs, she rows, she does yoga with her vampire boyfriend, she drinks tea, she eats lunch, and...yeah, up to the point in which I officially shunned this book, NOTHING HAPPENED. I'm serious. You'd think with a bunch of d…

Brand New Key: Melanie

I've always loved this song. It makes me happy.