Skip to main content


Showing posts from November, 2011

Short Movie Review: Green Lantern

Blah. That's all I really want to say about this boring, weak, maggot-infested movie. I'll try to say more, though.

Well, aside from having almost nothing interesting to say, "Green Lantern" suffers from lack of originality, a weak storyline, a weak hero (he isn't anything special), a stupid villain, a predictable romance, should I phrase doesn't have IT. No bite.

There was nothing in this that could easily hold my interest for almost two hours. It did get a fraction better once some action started happening, but it wasn't enough to save it. And Ryan Reynolds is alright. He's not a favorite actor of mine, but he didn't bring the movie down. No one could have elevated it. NO ONE. It would need a whole new script/storyline. 

You know what, I'm bored just writing this review and having to think about this movie, that's how much I didn't like it.

My grade: D

Movie Review: The Runaways

This was one of the last movies I picked up at the library. I decided to watch it for two reasons: I had never seen it; I wanted to see Dakota Fanning in a movie. I feel that I must have seen her in a movie at some point, but if I did, I completely forget.

You probably already know that this is about The Runaways, who were somewhat popular back in the seventies before they fizzled out. I think I may have heard "Cherry Bomb" once upon a time. But maybe not. Other than that, I'm not familiar with the band, and I'm not really a Joan Jett fan, although, like most people, I'm familiar with her.

Unfortunately, this movie just wasn't that good. It's too bad it wasn't better directed, better written, and more factual. They left some major things out. But I'm neither a Runaways fan or a Joan Jett fan, so I can't say I was disappointed. Just a tad bored. And I laughed sometimes, even though that may not have been the film maker's intended reactio…

Quick Movie Review: Did You Hear About the Morgans?

It's bad comedy week, apparently. I didn't like this. What surprised me the most was the total lack of chemistry between Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant. I honestly believed they would make a good duo. I was so wrong!

Well, they play an estranged married couple. Hugh's character (I seriously forgot his name, sorry), cheated on Meryl (but I remember hers...odd), and she left him. He's been unsuccessfully trying to win her back for months, and on one such night after they've had dinner together, they witness a murder and are forced into the witness protection program. What follows is your typical city-folk-trapped-in-Hicksville scenario. Very unoriginal and unfunny. And SJP is annoying. Plus Hugh is his usual fuddy duddy self. I like him a lot in other movies, but he isn't a broad actor. He's, well, himself.

And how am I supposed to like this movie when I can't even root for the couple (who are obviously going to patch things up by the end)?

Long st…

Movie Review: The Break Up

You know, watching movies like this and "Just Go With It" make me realize how underrated Jennifer Aniston is as an actress. Once again, she is the best thing about this movie, and she's not a bad actress at all. It's too bad she doesn't pick better movies (or get offered better movies).

"The Break Up" isn't that funny, although it has its moments, especially when Brooke's brother is onscreen, an acapella martial artist who "isn't" secretly gay (hehe). But overall it didn't pull many laughs, and it was slightly depressing in parts, but intentionally so.

I guess it's a problem when you don't want the two main characters to get back together. This is assuming the audience is meant to root for them, and why wouldn't we be meant to root for them? As it is, Vince Vaughn's character is a jerk who doesn't deserve the caring girlfriend who dumped him, who cries over him and wants to get back together (unbeknownst to …

Movie Review: Cube

This is an interesting creeper from 1997. A group of strangers wake up and find themselves trapped in a "cube". Oh, but they can leave any cube that they're in. It's just that going into any given cube may lead to their horrible, gory deaths. That is a nice twist, isn't it? Amazingly, a few people manage to find each other without getting killed first, and they decide to stick together to try and survive the various cubes that they must travel through in order to find a way out (assuming there is one...). They figure out that each one of them has some useful quality. Quentin is a cop with determination and guts, and he's pretty much the group's caffeine. Leaven is a pro at math (so I automatically hate her!). Worth, is...something that I won't give away. There's also a doctor. Everyone is important. Of course they can't all live. So don't get too attached to anyone.

I have a few problems with this, as I always do. For one, the acting isn&#…

Very Short Movie Review: Be Kind Rewind

This looked funnier in the preview, if I'm not mistaken. It wasn't as good as I was hoping, but it has a solid cast and likable characters. At times it manages to be funny, but it's not a laugh-out-loud film, which was disappointing. It has a good premise, and the execution could have been more effective, but all-in-all it wasn't bad. Not a repeat watch, though.

Wow, that was very short, yes?

My grade: B-

Short Movie Review: Beaches

It took me awhile to get to this, and I wasn't thrilled about watching it since I knew it was a sappy tear-jerker. But I made myself. I'll give a quick rundown. I think I overtaxed myself on "Driving Lessons".

This isn't bad like I thought it would be, although it still isn't my cup of coca cola. I like Bette Midler, and she plays a narcissistic diva well. However, I don't like Barbara Hershey. In fact, I never have. I don't think she's a good actress. She might be barely passable at times, but so far that's the best I can say about her acting (you may have noticed her terrible acting in "Insidious"). Her character isn't that great, either, but she isn't meant to be, so this qualifies as one of Hershey's "barely passable" acting jobs. She's not really good, but her character sucks, so it's not that depressing. I would have appreciated seeing this role filled by a better actress, though.

My favorite segme…

Movie Review: Driving Lessons

*Many a Spoiler Ahead*

Yet another failure in the "quirky" British comedy vault. There are usually more winners than losers, but this was just foot fungus.

I was interested in seeing this mainly because I wanted to see how Rupert Grint fared in something other than Harry Potter. It wasn't worth it, but at least now I can say I've seen him in something else, even if that something else was terrible.

Rupert plays Ben, the 17 year-old son of a preacher and preachy mother (Laura Linney). For some reason, an older man moves into their house (he accidentally ran his wife over, and they're helping him cope...I think) and Ben's cold, religious mama decided that Ben should get a job so he can help support this man that has moved into their house. It's being a charitable Christian, I believe. It's total bulls**t, but oh well, he does it anyway. He goes to work for an older woman, Evie (Julie Walters, also in Harry Potter as Molly Weasley), a Dame with three e…

Movie Review: Forest of Death

The title alone should clue you as to the quality of this film. To put it bluntly: it's not scary and it's dumb. That's basically it.

I also didn't care for any of the characters, and they didn't give me any reasons to like them. The guy who believes that plants talk to each other (which they do, btw) has a career-obsessed/self-obsessed TV reporter girlfriend who uses her boyfriend to get headlines. I know what you're thinking: how can having a botanist boyfriend help a reporter get juicy stories? Well, let me tell you. You see, there's this forest, and in this forest many people go to commit suicide. It's famous for it. Because if you're going to kill yourself, why not a heavily wooded area, right? And in this nice patch of suicide land, some people (most who were going to kill themselves) reported seeing ghosts, and fog. Fog. I'm scared! So girlfriend likes to propel the idea that there are ghosts around.

But the real reason girlfriend uses…