Skip to main content

Sweet Dreams Are Made of...Chuck Norris?


How often do you remember your dreams? And how vivid are they? Maybe you never remember them at all. Lately, however, mine have been quite...interesting. There were several nights in a row in which I woke up after having very vivid dreams; the sort that stay with you all day. They weren't all bad dreams, but they all left me feeling a little disturbed. I guess that's what happens when you feel like you were actually in the dream to some degree, rather than simply watching it.

I don't mind this, though. Dreams can be terribly entertaining, don't you think? Take, for instance, two dreams I had last week (although I had several good dreams). In the one, I was set to marry a serial killer. And, by all accounts, I had the makings of a serial killer myself (which is why he didn't kill me), but I was like, Nah, I don't feel like killing people. And then I decided that I didn't want to marry my serial killer boyfriend (to be fair, he was rather old. Who am I, Lolita?), so I legged it. I'm pretty sure he was going to kill me if he ever found me, so...yeah. No idea what brought that dream on.

And then there was this dream. Truth be told, I remember very little of it at this point, but that's okay. The gist of it is that I was sexually assaulted by...Chuck Norris. In a cave. By a beach. And then he was stalking me. Again, where the hell did this come from? And why Chuck Norris? Why not someone who isn't Chuck Norris? Like, hmmm, a young Jeremy Irons (he's rather creepy and pervy now, eww) or a young Anthony Andrews? I like him. But no, it had to be Chuck Norris. Now I feel like making Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can strangle people with a cordless phone.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

Okay, I'm done. Also, if you ever run into Chuck Norris on a beach and he wants to tag along, run away. I'm serious, kids.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Movie Review: The Secret Life of Arrietty

*Spoilers*

As someone who grew up watching "The Borrowers", that lovely British gem from the early 90s starring Ian Holm and Penelope Wilton, I had to see this anime take on the children's novels by Mary Norton.

And boy was I disappointed!

I'm surprised that I'm even admitting this. This is a movie I genuinely believed would be above average for me. Perhaps is has to do with the ratings it has received, and I think anime generally gets praise. It's a thing. But more importantly, (and do take note of this before criticizing me for criticizing this) since I did grow up with that other lovely series, I've been spoiled, and nothing can outdo it. My standards were raised a long time ago.

So allow me to rundown the reasons why I am so disappointed with this adaptation:

(1) The Japanese stamp is certainly visible. While I wouldn't normally view that as a flaw, "The Borrowers" is a purely British tale. The characters, the setting, everything. The s…

Movie Review: Rosemary's Baby

It took me a long time to get to this, but I finally watched it. This isn't the first movie I've seen featuring satanists and creepy conspiring old people. I gotta say, I liked it, although this isn't one that I'll watch often, or maybe ever again. It also ran a little long at over two hours.

The painful part about watching this was how obvious the characters are in their intentions. In fact it could be downright infuriating. As a viewer, I know that the neighbors are rather evil and that they put a great deal of time and effort into controlling Rosemary. It's also a glaring fact that there is a big plot that has yet to be revealed, but according to the movie description I was supposed to "wonder" if it was real or just in Rosemary's imagination. Hmm.

I also know that I could just murder her husband, who is obviously a part of the plot (what a great guy!). And Rosemary comes off as both naive and aware, letting them tell her what to do, which doctor …

Inspector Lewis: Wild Justice

You know, I was excited last night. Why? Because, after weeks of no Inspector Lewis, they were finally airing two new episodes back to back! Yay! PBS has been a bit backed up, what with all of their pledge programming and favorites. There are four new episodes in total, and two, I believe, were supposed to air in September. Only one did. Naturally, I was looking forward to the 9-midnight Lewis-athon.

And you know what ticked me off? They didn't play two new episodes back to back. They repeated the first one and then played a new one. So I had to wait until 10:30 to get my fix. Because of course everyone wants to re-watch the first one, right? Wrong! Mamma not happy!

But we did get one new episode, so I'll be content with that. They should be playing the other two next week, since a new series is supposed to start soon.

This one is called "Wild Justice". Lewis and Hathaway are investigating the death of a female Bishop. She flew across the pond from the USA for a ga…