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Showing posts from March, 2014

Almost Human

Oh my god, this movie. This is easily one of the worst films I've watched in a long time. Why was I expecting this to be good? That's what I get for not reading reviews in advance, though. 
Basic plot: aliens! Some dude named Mark disappears in Maine when all of these fancy blue lights appear from the sky and abduct his handsome self. Another friend of his, Rob, also disappears, but they never actually bring it up after the fact. Weird. So, two years later, Marky Mark comes back, but...he's not himself. He's been alienized and starts killing everyone he comes into contact with. So yeah, that's pretty much it. Bad acting, horrible dialogue, silly events, squandered plot. You're pretty much just watching a laughably bad serial killer film with alien noises and weird, jutting alien...things. Yes, there is a thing, and I'm kind of wondering if they stole it from Red Dwarf. Also, that thing goes where no thing should go. I'm temporarily traumatized. I think…