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Showing posts from October, 2015

Silent Hill

Advice: if you love the name Sharon, you should watch this movie.

"Sharon! Sharon! Sharooooon!" No, really, keep yelling her name. Don't mind the monsters who can hear you, I'm sure they're all too busy watching Duck Dynasty and munching on Doritos (mm, Doritos) to pay you any attention. So yes, keep doing what you're doing, because you're full of good ideas, Rose.

Story: Rose's adopted daughter Sharoooooon is one hell of a sleepwalker, and she loves saying 'Silent Hill' in her sleep, so naturally Rose and her husband, the wasted Sean Bean, look it up and see that it's a foul, supposedly haunted place in West Virginia. Rose, being responsible, kidnaps Sharooooooon and drives her there, despite the glaring signs telling her not to, and risking her daughter's life in the process. Frankly, no one should go to West Virginia. If you were born there, okay, it's not your fault, but if you go there willingly, shame on you!

After they arri…

The Visit

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this movie. As excited I was to see this, it still managed to exceed my expectations. M. Night Shyamalan, are you really back to form? Because you need to keep making movies like this, I'm serious.

The Visit is about two exceptionally nice kids who decide to visit their estranged grandparents so that their single mom can have some alone time with her new boyfriend. You mean they're not angsty and trying to sabotage her happiness? I don't believe you! Nonetheless, that's the case. Their mom doesn't even want them to go, it's just unfathomable. If I ever pop out little minions, they need to be like this.

Unfortunately for the kids, things don't go quite as planned, because their grandparents are beyond weird. They're only staying for a week, but things escalate quickly. It's both creepy as hell and hilarious. I adore this movie! All scary films should use humor in combination with scares; it's the…

The Martian

I'll preface this by saying that I almost skipped out on this in the fear that it would be like Interstellar, which wasn't a bad movie, but managed to disappoint and confuse and leave me feeling irritated. Also, Mackenzie Foy and Jessica Chastain look nothing alike, fools! Speaking of, Chastain and Matt Damon were both in Interstellar, and now they're both in this, so naturally I wondered if there was some connection between the movies (thankfully there isn't). That was before I actually looked into it, however. After reading up on it and seeing the great reception The Martian received, I suddenly wanted to see it very badly. I do love Matt Damon, have I ever told you that?

This ended up being my choice for family movie night, and we actually convinced my brother to come along (a rare occurrence), and even a family friend wanted to go. Amazing! No one left disappointed. The Martian is an excellent film, and that's not something I often say about a movie.

If you do…