Restless Tonight -Reviews and Rants

Netflix, I love you. Sometimes. But especially last night. I don't often fall in love with a show from the get-go, but it's happened twice recently: Big Mouth and American Vandal . I binge-watched those vulgar babies to the end in a matter of hours, and I didn't regret a minute. Yesterday was a mental health/cleaning the apartment day, and I eventually sat down to find something to cheer me up. I'd noticed American Vandal before, but something about it turned me off, i.e. I didn't bother to look into it at all, I simply thought it was going to be an ultra serious documentary about vandals. Look, Making a Murderer and Serial both sucked me in, but I don't think I can get too emotionally invested in vandals, okay? However, I finally decided to actually read the synopsis, and I have to admit, "satirical documentary" drew me in. Mama loves a good satire, but they're so rarely good. American Vandal , you had me from the word "dick".

Can you feel the angst tonight?  Finally, it's here! The long-awaited, white-washed, dumbed down Death Note adaptation of your dreams is streaming on le Netflix, and it's the bomb!!! Get your popcorn and drugs ready, people. I can't tell you how excited I was to watch this, and when I realized it's set in Seattle? I died! My god, how more perfect can it get? Well let me tell you, folks: it got much more parfait. It's so perfekt that you have to watch it to believe it. First of all, the whiteness is blinding, and I love being blinded. It's only natural for a story that's originally set in Japan with Japanese characters to take place in Washington State with super white people. It's so white that the actor playing Light, despite being a natural brunette, dyed part (only part) of his hair blonde. He's very dedicated. But the best part about this? They turned it into a high school drama! Fuck characters with interesting backgrounds, and screw de

*Spoilers everywhere* Before we go any further, I just have to say: the dog does not die! I wanted to put that out there in case anyone was avoiding this film in fear of puppycide. I can't even watch the first movie without fast-forwarding through that part, just like I made my mom do when watching The Lion King when I was a child. I don't need to see that shit. John Wick: Chapter 2 is the first John Wick , only with less incentive. Seriously, if someone killed my boo-boo, I would bring the roof down on them, their family, and upload all their naked pictures onto the internet. Do not test me! In Chapter 2 , however, his motivation stems from a mark. More specifically, a mark from  Santino D'Antonio (Riccardo Scamario), who is, I have to say, a rather mesmerizing villain. He orders Wick to murder his beloved sister during her coronation  in Rome. The repercussions are immediate. Just as I would bring the roof down on anyone who hurt my puppy, the roof is broug

*Contains Spoilers* If you gave up on M. Night Shyamalan a long time ago, I don't blame you. After years of mehs and misses, he made an unexpected return to greatness with the (underrated) 2015 film The Visit , which has stuck with me after nearly two years. When I saw the trailer for Split , it was obvious that it was right up my creepy alley. Not only do I love a good horror film, but I've been fascinated with multiple personality disorder since I was a kid. That's normal, right? Split is another worthy addition to the horror/thriller genre, and you can thank James McAvoy for most of that. His acting is well worth the watch, even when other aspects of the film fail. Basic plot: three high school girls are kidnapped from a parking lot by Kevin (McAvoy), a man who possesses 23 (?) personalities, some of whom are more dangerous than others. His victims are Casey (Anya Taylor-Joy from The Witch ), Claire (Haley Lu Richardson, Edge of Seventeen ), and Marcia (Jessic

Sherlock's face=my face when looking at babies *Spoilers* The Six Thatchers It's been a long time since I made the effort to watch a show as it aired, rather than binge-watch it after it's over, but Sherlock is a special exception. Despite being a fan of pretty much everything Sherlock Holmes, however, I've always had a small gripe with this particular series, the main reason being that it's cocky. I've said this in previous Sherlock reviews, but I'm saying it again because it's been so long. So long. Too long. Regardless, it hasn't changed, but I always manage to forgive them. But I never forget, just like I'm never going to forget this episode. The Six Thatchers refers to six statues of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, which took me longer than it should have to realize. While there's a nice blend of mysteries to be had, the main focus turns to Mary in this episode. After finding out about her past as an assas