Well, I'm offended. Worse than offended, I'm...disappointed. Worse than disappointed, I'm...devastated. No, that's a lie, I'm just offended. We already knew that the latest adaptation of Persuasion was going to be a dumpster fire, and oh boy, did it exceed my expectations, i.e. it's so much worse than I anticipated. It's like they put a mid-2000s rom-com in a blender and attempted to mix it with a period romance. Honestly, it feels like it was written by Gen Z and Millennials who just skimmed the book and thought, How can we suck the essence right out of this? I say this as a Millennial. I am one, and I have lived amongst them. From this point on, there will be spoilers , because I can't help myself. Not that there's much to spoil. It ruined itself as soon as they cast Dakota Johnson. My biggest grievance is probably the dialogue. From, "single and thriving," to "What if he's been pining for me day and night all these years?"