Have you ever been laying in the hospital covered in your own blood, dying and in pain? Have you ever wondered if this is actually a good time to take a new profile pic? Because girl, you just gave your doctor a boner. Get that phone out and snap away, you hottie!
Starring Eric Roberts' teeth, Stalked by My Doctor is the first in what will hopefully be a long and prosperous franchise. There are currently four entire Stalked films, and -don't yell at me- I've only watched two so far. Back-to-back. I started the third, but then my body gave out.
True to its title, the plot revolves around a cardiologist who just can't seem to get a girlfriend. This makes him sad, and very angry, but he never gives up. After all, it's not his fault that these women don't see how wonderful he is. He dedicates a lot of time to this endeavor, and spends what we can only assume are hours upon hours on a dating site perusing the local singles. He acquires numerous dates, but for some reason they tend to have panic attacks when he's around, so it never really works out. Strange.
But then something glorious happens. He meets 18 year-old Sophie, who's just been in a terrible car accident that was caused by her boyfriend. (Sidenote: this movie doubles as a PSA for texting and driving. Don't do it, or your doctor might try to bang you.) As he gazes down at her bloody form and listens to her cries of pain, he immediately sees future wife material. It's all romance from thereon out.
Do I love this movie? I do. If I could break down every little piece that I enjoyed, it would take awhile, but here are a few:
Starring Eric Roberts' teeth, Stalked by My Doctor is the first in what will hopefully be a long and prosperous franchise. There are currently four entire Stalked films, and -don't yell at me- I've only watched two so far. Back-to-back. I started the third, but then my body gave out.
But then something glorious happens. He meets 18 year-old Sophie, who's just been in a terrible car accident that was caused by her boyfriend. (Sidenote: this movie doubles as a PSA for texting and driving. Don't do it, or your doctor might try to bang you.) As he gazes down at her bloody form and listens to her cries of pain, he immediately sees future wife material. It's all romance from thereon out.
Do I love this movie? I do. If I could break down every little piece that I enjoyed, it would take awhile, but here are a few:
- Doll Murder! It's possibly my favorite scene.
- Sophie's dad giving her the "boys will be boys" talk and saying she'll have to "get used to it" because sometimes guys will "cross the line."
- Dr. Beck hungrily smelling her bedding.
- Dr. Beck threatening to amputate all of Sophie's limbs.
My Grade: Is this capable of being graded? Of course. A++.
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