My mouth hurts. You know when some part of your body isn't functioning correctly, and you can barely think about anything else? Eight days of oral tribulations, and the list of movies and series that I jotted down over the past several months is still sitting there next to the couch, ever neglected. My mind is half broken (okay, that's nothing new), but screw it. So here are some super quickie reviews by a woman whose brain is 99% focused on antiseptic gels and hydrogen peroxide mouth rinses. Here we go:
Exhibit A
When you think about it, there's nothing much scarier than the overnight collapse of a family dynamic. You thought you were safe and happy? Wrong. Exhibit A made me more uncomfortable than any other movie I've watched recently, which is exactly what it was supposed to do. If you don't like found footage films, this shaky cam movie might not be worth it for you, but the immersion into a crumbling family's world (and the ace acting to boot) make this one of the better movies on my list. I just wonder why I only discovered this 13 year-old gem now.
My Grade: B+
Crawl
ALLIGATORS. Alright, so that was the selling point for me, and probably most people who've watched this. A woman checks in on her father during a hurricane, only to discover him injured and trapped by a giant fucking gator. Some aspects of Crawl feed into the sillier side of the horror genre, but that kind of goes with the territory when you're dealing with alligators chilling out in your basement. Overall, this proves to be a fun, don't-look-away experience (except for my boyfriend, who did not enjoy Crawl whatsoever). I like that there's no romance on the sidelines, just pure daddy-daughter survival bonding time, with a healthy dose of girl power.
Also, the dog does not die.
My Grade: B+
Room For Rent
I wanted to love this movie, because I love Lin Shaye, but this fell flat for me. An older woman, whose abusive husband recently died, is left desperate for money, so she opens her house up to lodgers. It doesn't take long for her to become obsessed with a handsome man who moves in, which can only lead down a dark path for everyone involved.
Lin Shaye isn't disappointing, the film is. It can be uncomfortable to watch at times, e.g. when Joyce is being sexually harassed by a teenager (no rape, just FYI, but it's still hard for me to watch anything like that), but there are no real surprises to be had, and if this movie was aiming to be truly scary or engrossing, it failed, at least for me.
My Grade: C+
Vivarium
A couple goes house hunting, only to find themselves unable to find their way out of the creepy, clone-house neighborhood they're in. It finally happened: they made a movie about me.
While Vivarium isn't in-your-face horror, it is an extremely horrifying premise. Jesse Eisenberg and Imogen Poots portray-and quite well-a couple trying to keep it together while trapped in a world of greens and blues. Their desperation to hold onto hope while, really, not having any hope, is an almost claustrophobic experience. They are human guinea pigs in a cruel experiment, but for who/what? Or perhaps they indeed are just lousy with directions like I am. It's okay guys, I feel you.
My Grade: B+
Comments
Post a Comment