Lightyear

I'm just going to cut to the chase: there is no fucking way that this was Andy's favorite movie back in 1995. I think that's what really bothers me about Lightyear. It's not going to light a spark in a kid's heart to that degree. Why? Because it's so. damn. depressing. I wouldn't even call it fun, and aren't kids movies usually supposed to be fun, lighthearted, with a side of life lesson tossed in? Lightyear feels like one big life lesson. A movie for adults, basically. I am not here to be an adult.

Alright, now that I've properly jumped the gun, I can get started. You ever watch Toy Story? Toy Story 2? Toy Story 3? Toy Story 4? Do you remember Buzz Lightyear? Love him! Well this is his origin movie, the movie that launched a million action figures. Apparently. It feels completely disconnected from that series, but sure, let's go with it.

Buzz and his crew land on a scary, monster-ridden planet (mmm, tentacles!). Their escape goes awry, leaving them stranded for much, much longer than anticipated. This is where it starts to get sad. Sad, I tell you! Buzz goes on so many trips around the sun that he leaves everyone behind. 

I found myself getting frustrated several times while watching Lightyear, since it seemed to have an overabundance of thwarted attempts. Whenever a character was about to have a win, it would often get snatched away, or something would go wrong. Whoever wrote this really enjoys having their characters fail ad nauseam, but it's something you can only get away with maybe two or three times before it becomes exhausting. If that wasn't enough, very little about this movie makes sense, and the writers truly dropped the ball. I won't get into all of the little details, but dude, why did they do this? 

And now, get ready for some spoilers...

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The whole bad guy reveal...sigh. Buzz is both the hero and the villain. Seriously? Was anyone else disappointed? It felt like a huge letdown, and a lost opportunity. What's worse is that I don't actually disagree with Bad Buzz. It makes sense to want to go back in time and fix everything. While people lived on, had families, and existed in a makeshift colony, it's safe to assume they also had families back home, right? Kids, parents, pets? People who never found out what happened to their loved ones up in space. I don't think it's evil or unreasonable to strive to correct the mistake that led to those losses. With that in mind, it was difficult to feel good about Lightyear, and I left the theater feeling somewhat low. Hey, wasn't this supposed to be fun? 

Maybe I'm being too harsh, but watching this didn't feel like a reward; it felt unsatisfying and like it was made for adults, but by people who don't know what adults want. And to reiterate, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO ADULT. 

The robot cat was cute, though. 

My Grade: C+. It's watchable. Sort of.