Movie Review: The Devil's Diary

Yay, a Lifetime movie about the Devil's Diary! Me, me, me so excited!

So, as you know, Borders in closing down, and they're having markdowns (I'm waiting for it to go past 50%), and I happened to spot this in a neglected bargain box along with a bunch of throw-away books. There was another Lifetime movie starring Catherine Bell, but I could tell it was sappy, and I don't like sappy the majority of the time (plus Lifetime movies aren't that great to begin with), so I decided to spring for this gem. It was less than five bucks, so who cares.

This is it: Two girls find a mysterious diary in a graveyard, and one of the girls starts writing about all of the people she hates in it, and intentionally maims and/or kills them. The diary is fueled by hatred, and it makes her crazy as heck. I don't know what's more disturbing; a guy getting his eyes poked out with a pool stick or this girl, Ursula, resembling Avril Lavigne. I'm serious here. She already has the basic look, but she was intentionally made to look like our Canadian punk-pop tart, from her hair, her eye makeup, and her clothes. I'm talking Avril before she went super- blonde and started wearing pink tutus.

In the movie, she really looks like her at times. I dare you to watch!
But that's besides the point (no it isn't!). The point is, "The Devil's Diary" is nothing surprising. It's silly, predictable, and not funny when it means to be, but it's fun. I also like the actress who plays Dominique. The acting is sub-par most of the time, especially when it comes to one or two actors. The ending is also cliche.

The only actor I recognized was Brian Krause (Charmed). Yes, this is the kind of movie he does. He plays a priest. That's all I have to say. Pretty boring.

The movie contradicts itself. When Ursula is trying to convince Dominique that she really can makes things happen by writing it in the book, she writes that Dom should have full C-cup breasts. Perky ones. But then we learn that the book only works for evil. You can hurt people with it, but you can't do anything positive.

Makes sense. Until...

Another girl gets her hands on the diary and writes that she wants a killer body and for all of the boys at school to fall desperately in love with her when they see her. It works. Er, what? Okay, the boy thing can be a negative for everyone who isn't her, I guess, but the "killer body"? She's already a very pretty girl with a great body, why ask for more? The next day when her sexy bod is revealed, the camera swoops up her legs to reveal the sexiness. I'm embarrassed to say this, but at first I thought, "Aha! It had the reverse effect! She now has an ugly body!"

Um, oops. That actually was the sexiness. Sorry pretty actress! Oh, and she was perfectly pretty before, and then they smacked a lot of dark eye shadow on her, and she suddenly went down a notch or two. Shame.

Yes, so that's "The Devil's Diary". There's no reason to have high expectations of it, so disappointment is impossible!

My grade: B- (What? It was fun! That's why it's not in the Cs. The only reason.)